The Revenge Of The Resident
by vergissmeinnicht
Summary: They say that no good deed goes unpunished. That's also true for bad deeds.
1. Chapter 1

_Author's Notes: _

_1)Once again, the site messed up my formatting. Sorry, things looked slightly different before I uploaded them._

_2) Also, this is an AU set during Season 8. We're fast-forwarding to a Thanksgiving where everyone save Lily/Marshall is single again. And no, I cannot give you a good reason for that unless 'For reasons which have slipped my mind for the moment, I wanted everybody but L/M to be living on their own.' is a good enough reason for you. _

_3) This fiction is Ted-centric with - hopefully in character - participation from everybody else (except for Marvin who is there more for decorational purposes and because I like babies) and fair warning: there is going to be no slash whatsoever. _

* * *

_Kids, once again this is one story I'm not going to tell you. I'm just going to sit here for a moment and reminisce about the good old times and, of course, you're also being punished for something! Jeez! That window didn't break itself and neither did that mirror! And you keep telling me you're too old for lightsaber duels! No one is ever too old for that! Still, you might want to slow down a little and try not to break half the furniture every time you ‚throw a party' while we're away for the weekend. Anyway, where was I? Oh, yes. Reminiscing. If I actually were to tell anyone this story, I think I'd call it The Revenge Of The Resident! (Only no one would get it because not everyone has such a phenomenal memory as me!) Okay ..._

The year was 2012 and Thanksgiving was just around the corner. Well, in fact it was the eve of Thanksgiving and as everyone knows, Thanksgiving is a time for family and Aunt Lily's turkey. So, the gang was meeting at Marshall and Lily's to celebrate and because there was going to be a kid involved this time, Barney, Robin and Ted had decided to meet up half an hour early at MacLaren's to get a drink before going up to face the Little Evil Henchman (as Ted called him mockingly - to mock Robin and Barney that is, not Marvin because little Marv' was the cutest little baby ever. Well, until Ted's kids came along and secured the position for themselves.). As always - when he wasn't actively trying to avoid something - Ted had come slightly early and was surprised to see both Robin and Barney arriving just as he was getting ready to enter the bar.

He stopped at the stairs to wait, smiled when he heard Robin greet him - and tried to step aside for a man trying to go down himself. At the same time though that man stepped into Ted's path, frowning at and scrutinising him.

"You're Ted - Ted Mosby?", the man asked to which Ted - well, he probably replied in the affirmative, but his memory get's a little fuzzy on the subject. The next thing Ted knew, he was flat on the floor, he was aching all over, there was blood on his face and in his mouth and he felt like he was drowning and - _you know what, let's tell this part of the story from Robin's point of view._

* * *

Robin was not in a good mood that night. She and her boyfriend had just broken up, she was going to spend Fake Thanksgiving with a happily married couple with a possibly cranky baby and it hadn't even snowed yet.

But then Barney - recently single Barney - showed up at her doorstep with a smile and a bottle of Scotch which he was going to present Lily and Marshall but which was most probably going to be finished off entirely between Barney and Robin, and her mood improved.

She was going to spend Fake Thanksgiving surrounded by friends, it hadn't snowed yet and she was single - and so was Barney who winked at her as she took his arm.

They spent the journey in companionable silence which Robin broke only as they were approaching the pub, when she spied Ted on the sidewalk.

"Hey, Ted!", she exclaimed, if only to watch him who'd looked lost in thought give a start, but he didn't and simply smiled at her. It was her who flinched a moment after: with Ted turning, so did a man who had been trying to get past him and after one look at Ted, he thrust his arm forward and punched Ted in the face.

Ted went down as Robin broke into a run, Barney right besides her.

"Hey!", was all she could think of to say, pushing past the most stupid, slowest pedestrians to ever walk the earth, while fear gripped her heart and a sudden, burning rage made her snatch the bottle from Barney's hands - and hit Ted's assailant over the head with it, when Robin finally emerged from the crowd, and he was still standing there and towering over Ted - - which of course he ceased to do, once the bottle made contact with his skull and a mightily fine brand of Scotch sloshed out, showering man and street alike.

But Robin had turned away already and knelt down next to Ted.

And Ted was trying to sit up already, but in the first few seconds all she could see was the blood on his face and on his hands, and it made her wish Barney had brought a second bottle or the first one hadn't broken quite so easily and not into so many tiny pieces. Because she ached to hit -

It was Barney who reached across Ted and put his phone into Robin's hands.

"Call Lily and Marshall", he advised, "Tell them we'll be arriving early."

"Shouldn't we go to the hospital?", Robin asked and risked a glance at Ted.

It wasn't that Robin was squeamish, far from it because for God's sake, as had been established earlier, Robin actually got turned on by fights, but this was different because this was one of her best friends and he hadn't been fighting and he was actually as far a cry from being a fighter as Robin was from being a peace activist!

But Ted was sitting up now and though he was by no means upright, and he was leaning heavily on Barney's shoulder, and blood was still spurting from his nose and drench the handkerchief Barney must've produced, - well, he was concious.

"I'm fine", was what Ted said himself - or tried to anyway, and Robin stood, satisfied, and went to call Marshall and Lily.

* * *

Marshall and Lily had started the day with Lily cooking, and feeding the baby, and baking, and feeding the baby, and Marshall, well, had tried feeding the baby but somehow at six months Marvin already knew what was good to eat and what wasn't. And today, well, anything not covered in protective plastic wasn`t either good to eat or even remotely interesting. And because Marshall hadn't quite figured out how to keep the baby happy and out of the pie dough, he had been banned from feeding the baby that day, thus leaving Lily to do all the work and Marshall was once again in charge of the gouda only.

Naturally, slicing cheese, though it took time and precision to do exactly right, was not a task designed to keep a man occupied for an entire day, and so Marshall, after spending the afternoon playing video games, had taken to sitting by the window and watching other people hurry by.

That was how he came to witness Ted arriving way early and, just as Marshall turned back from mentioning that fact to Lily, Ted getting punched in the face.

"Hey!", he hollered down, almost throwing himself out of the window in the process; but Ted's attacker took no notice of him and Marshall tried to rise, just as Lily materialised besides him and let out a string of such shockingly obscene obscenities that Marshall was almost inclined to put his hands over his own ears.

A moment later bottle-wielding Robin appeared with Barney hot on her heels and both Marshall and Lily retreated into the living room.

"I call the police, you go down!", Lily ordered and picked Marvin up who had spent his moment of unsupervised freedom with his hands deep in the mashed potatoes.

Marshall was halfway down the corridor by the time she finished speaking and his phone started ringing the moment he stepped out the front door. He ignored it and Robin hung up a second later, when she caught sight of him.

"How's Ted?", he asked but didn't wait for an answer as he briskly made his way across to where Ted was sitting on the sidewalk, with passersby stepping and Barney fussing over him.

Ted's bloodied hands were cupped over the lower half of his face, while he tried to assure his friend that he was going to be ‚'ine' in but a moment, and a crumpled handkerchief, soaked with blood, lay in his lap.

"That was quick", Barney remarked, as he knelt down and Marshall jerked his head sideways.

"We had front row seats to the action", he retorted. "Lily already called the police."

Marshall caught Ted frowning and leaned forward. "Do we need a hospital?"

"No." Ted briefly pulled his hand away from his face and sniffed, but the blood was still flowing and Barney pushed the handkerchief back onto his nose.

"'re y' tryin' t' sm'th'r me?"

Barney rolled his eyes at the complaint, but his expression was strained and his face almost as pale as Ted's.

"How about we go somewhere warm and clean you up?", Marshall tried to sound cheerful and comforting, and helped Barney help Ted to his feet. As they rose, he heard Robin ask behind him: "Wait, where did that guy go?"

"Which guy?"

"The one who punched Ted."

Marshall frowned and turned, but Robin was right: the other man had disappeared and all that was left to see was the spot where he had been drenched in scotch.

"He was lying there unconscious a moment ago!", Robin exclaimed in dismay.

"Maybe he was only stunned", Marshall said which earned him a look not unlike Lily's infamous stare, followed by a firm: "When I hit someone, he stays down!"

"Yeah. Except that guy didn't, did he?" Marshall wasn't sure why he'd said that and coughed belatedly; out of the corner of his eye, he saw Barney's grip on Ted tighten as he ushered his friend forward, and Marshall couldn't help straightening up himself. Besides him Robin frowned, but she didn't answer and Marshall took the blessing without questioning and hurried after the other two.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Thank you to those of you who put my story on ‚story alert'. I'm happily assuming that you liked it so far.

* * *

**2**

"So, what did you do?" Once the bleeding had shown signs of stopping, Lily, kindergarten-teacher extraordinaire and (thus) first aid guide in personification, had retreated with Ted - and Marvin because there was no way the baby was going to be separated from his mother - to the bathroom and patched him up to the best of her ability. The result was both colorful and slightly ridiculous for Ted now sported band-aids adorned with kittens wearing yellow ribbons on both his chin and right cheek.

They had settled on the sofa afterwards with Marshall handing out drinks and both Barney and Lily in particular eyeing Ted with thinly disguised concern. It was Robin who had taken it upon herself to ask the most obvious question.

"Nothing", Ted replied, frowning in concentration as he thought about it. "Nothing that I remember doing anyway."

"What did you guys talk about?", Marshall asked as he sat down in a chair.

Ted looked puzzled. "We talked?"

Marshall frowned. "As far as I could see, yes, you did. You don't remember?"

"No." Ted started to shake his head only to abort the action in mid-shake; he winced. "I'm not sure I remember anything before Barney."

Barney started. "Me?"

Ted gave a slight nod.

"So you didn't notice me heroically saving you by sacrificing a bottle of Scotch worth one thousand dollars?", Robin sounded positively upset at this news.

Ted hesitated and looked questioningly at Lily who gave a careless shake of the head.

"Robin hit the guy over the head with a bottle of Scotch", she explained. "Don't worry about it."

"A thousand dollars!", Robin repeated mournfully, until Barney leaned forward and added in a stage-whisper: "Actually, there was another zero in there."

Robin stared at him.

After a long moment, she turned to Ted and forcefully announced: "You're going to have to take self-defense classes."

Ted looked doubtful. "So, I'll be prepared when somebody whom I didn't expect to hits me again?"

Robin frowned. "So you can hit them back!", she stressed.

"I hit Doug once", Ted offered.

"True", Marshall said, before adding: "Self-defense classes sound pretty good actually."

"So you'll, you know, stop hitting like a girl", was Barney's addendum which earned him multiple glares.

"Like you could do any better", Ted complained.

Barney tried his best to look offended - for about a second. "Probably not", he admitted.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Marshall rose quickly.

"That's the police", he announced as he went for the door.

It was indeed. A pair of rather surprisingly polite officers entered the apartment and divided their time between Ted (and his lawyer) and the witnesses (and their lawyer who had been asked to leave the witnesses to their own ponderings). With the culprit having vanished into thin air however, the officers' verdict was not a particularly optimistic one. Still, as one of the officers put it, one could always hope.

* * *

To nobody's surprise as much as Ted's he was asked to meet one of the officers at the nearest precinct but a week later. When he arrived at the station, a officer he hadn't seen before was there waiting for him and proved his familiarity with the case by asking: "Where'd you leave your lawyer?"

Ted forced a smile. "At his office. He's working", he replied and refrained from asking a question of his own; Marshall had assured him that quips were not going to be appreciated by the police force. Though he had not yet encountered a problem in his dealings with the police, he had quickly yielded to Marshall's ideas on how he should handle the problem.

The officer led Ted to a quiet corner of the office and sat down with him at a desk piled high with papers of different size. Though the intent of whoever had arranged the papers in different stacks had clearly been to tidy up things, the result was so desastrous Ted was almost unable to keep his attention focused on the officer; more than once over their conversation he almost reached out to adjust a stack here or there.

"Well,", the officer began, as he reached into one of the piles to take a file. "First of all, we got him."

"Great!" Ted replied enthusiastically. He almost smiled, but he hesitated when he noticed the officer eyeing him speculatively. "Or ... not?", he ventured carefully.

"We'll see about that", decided the officer, briefly glancing at the file. "It appears Mr ... Smith was trying to avenge his sister."

"Avenge?" , Ted repeated stupidly. "Why? What does he think I did to her?"

The man consulted his papers. "Well", he continued eventually, "apparently you tricked her into sleeping with you and then dumped her in a manner which resulted in, um, great emotional stress." He gave an almost embarrassed cough. "She seems to have made a website about it."

Ted was still staring at the other man, a dumbfounded expression on his face. "Um." He leaned forward. "I'm sorry, but I really have no recollection of my ever tricking anyone into sleeping with me." Ted hesitated. "A website, you say? Really?" His vis-à-vis merely raised an eyebrow and Ted continued hurriedly: "Um, look. Could this be some kind of misunderstanding?"

The officer snorted. "Well, if it is, you're one unlucky bastard. She singled you out by name." He pointed at something on his paper and slid it over. "Here."

Ted's eyes went wide. "Ted Mosby is a jerk dot com?", he read. "What- but - I didn't - wait, that girl's name isn't Natalie, is it?"

The man's eyebrows rose past his hairline. "Natalie, eh?" But he shook his head. "No. Says here-" He frowned, pulling the paper towards himself. "Actually, I cannot read that", he admitted after studying it intently for a moment, „Is that Alice? Or Cécile? Can you read that?"

Ted blinked. "Uh, looks like - Sally to me?", he ventured. "Or Sandy, maybe?"

The officer shrugged. "Know any girls called Sandy or Sally?"

"No."

Again, the man gave a nonchalant shrug. "Well, I suppose it doesn't matter right now. Would

you like to press charges?"

"No, I -" Ted hesitated. "-well. Not exactly. Maybe." He winced. Perhaps it would have been better to have taken Marshall with him. "Um. I'd just like to get to the bottom of this", Ted continued slowly. "I don't know anyone named Smith or Sandy or Cécile or whatever. And I certainly didn't do anything bad enough to any woman ever to deserve a website dedicated to me."

The officer appeared to give this some thought and to Ted's surprise, he nodded eventually. "Actually, I think there is a way to help you", he said as he rose. "If you'll just wait here - I'm pretty sure the sister was supposed to come to the precinct today."

"All right", Ted replied and watched the man hurry away.

The officer returned a short while later, a blonde in tow whom Ted had - and he was absolutely, a 100% sure of this - never seen before; to his relief and the officer's - well, to be honest the man couldn't have cared less, but at least he pretended to - astonishment neither had the girl who took one look at him and decided: "That's not Ted Mosby."

"Yes, it is", objected the officer.

"No." The woman glared at Ted. "Ted Mosby has blond hair."

Both the officer and Ted reacted to this, with the former grabbing pen and paper, while Ted finally understood.

"Oh, no." The truth hit him like a sledgehammer, and the officer looked up sharply.

"What is it?"

Ted hung his head. "I know whom she is talking about", he explained with a pained sigh. Just to be certain he asked: "Guy wearing a suit, right? Around my height? Blond with blue eyes?"

"Yes!", she replied eagerly.

"Sonofa-" He stopped short and shook his head. "That guy's name is not Ted Mosby", he informed the woman. "I am Ted Mosby. His name is -" He hesitated. "- something else."

She seemed unsure of him at first, but the officer confirmed his claim and when he even produced his ID card, she looked positively ashamed and groped for words. "Oops", was all she came up with eventually and only further prompting by Ted made her promise that she would, naturally, take the website denouncing Ted down.

With that taken care of, Ted left the precinct and though he had both solved the mystery surrounding his attacker and promised to meet the gang at MacLaren's that night, somehow he didn't feel like going anymore. So for once he didn't.


	3. Chapter 3

_AN: There are some slight paradoxes in this story which I only realised once I finished the third chapter. I apologise and will fix these mistakes eventually. For now, let's put them down to Ted being an unreliable narrator._

_ Beth: Thank you, I'm really glad you took the time to review. I'm actually delighted that you liked Ted's characterisation._

* * *

**3**

The next day had found Ted in much higher spirits again and Marshall, slightly worried over the other's absence the evening before, but mostly eager to hear more details of what could prove to be his most exciting brush with criminal law (or civil law, if Ted decided to sue for damages) yet, had arranged to meet him at MacLaren's in the late afternoon.

Though they hadn't explicitly met to discuss what had transpired the day before, it was all Marshall could do to refrain from asking until after they'd ordered drinks and sat down with them at their regular booth. Once settled there was nothing to stop him.

"Well? What did they say? Did they find him?" Marshall tried not to look too eager, but in his mind he was already sifting through various sections of the local penal code.

Ted didn't seem to notice; he shrugged. "Yes", he said, "they did find him." He hesitated before continuing carefully: "But, really it was just a misunderstanding."

Marshall frowned. "What kind of a misunderstanding?"

"Just, you know", Ted gestured vaguely, "He mistook me for somebody else."

Marshall was still frowning. "Soo ... he mistook you for somebody else."

Ted nodded. "Apparently." He tried to think of something else to say, something reassuring, but Marshall beat him to speaking: "He mistook you for somebody else", he repeated, eyeing Ted speculatively, "who is also called ‚Ted Mosby'."

"Hrm?" Ted blinked. "What?"

"Because when you gave the police your statement, you said, and I'm sure I can get that in writing, that he asked for your name before hitting you."

"I did?"

"You did", Marshall replied firmly, "which means you just tried to lie to me. Lawyered!" He smiled brightly for a moment.

Ted sighed.

"So?", Marshall prompted after a second.

"I-", Ted hesitated, "I don't want Lily to know about this."

"Lily? This is about Lily?"

"No." Ted rolled his eyes. "This is not about Lily. But if I tell you, you'll tell Lily who will tell Robin who will tell Barney. I do not want anybody to know."

"I won't tell Lily."

Ted raised an eyebrow. "You will tell Lily", he objected with such utter certainty that it gave Marshall pause.

"No, I won't", he continued after a moment's silence. "I can keep a secret from Lily."

"No, you can't. What would you be talking about if you didn't tell Lily everything I told you?"

"I'll have you know my wife and I have plenty of things to talk about", came the dignified response which sadly didn't prove to have the desired effect as Ted snorted.

"Like what? Diapers?"

"Among other things, yes", Marshall retorted, paused and continued defensively: "And just to be clear: this is a very important topic. And there are lots of things which can go wrong if you're not careful about which brand you buy!" He drew a breath and Ted interrupted hastily:

"Yes, yes, I believe you. Sorry! Please don't tell me any more about the importance of buying washable diapers!" He cringed. "I already know everything there is to know about them!"

Marshall eyed him spectaculatively. "I highly doubt that. I'm sure I could tell you lots and lots of very interesting details about diapers." He coughed. "I might even have a few samples left from Marvin's -"

"Please, stop! That's gross!" Ted wrinkled his nose in disgust, but Marshall simply shrugged.

"It is", he agreed, "but you get used to it."

"If I tell you everything, will you stop talking?"

Marshall nodded happily. "And I'll not even tell Lily about it."

Ted still looked unconvinced, but explained anyway: "It's Barney."

"What's Barney?"

"The reason behind this - misunderstanding? Apparently Barney once used my name to pick up women." Ted looked thoughtful for a moment. "Which means not only do I provide my friends with both pick-up and break-up lines, but ‚Ted Mosby, architect' also works great as one of Barney's fake identities."

For a long moment, Marshall didn't move a muscle. Then he attempted to speak, stopped, opened his mouth again, stopped once more and hurriedly finished his beer before making another attempt.

"Um", was what he settled with eventually and because Ted was staring at him suspiciously, he hastily continued: "So. Ted Mosby, architect, you say?" If his prolonged silence hadn't given Ted a clue, his stuttered remark surely had; as Marshall watched, realisation suddenly dawned in Ted's eyes.

"Oh my god."

"Uh..."

"You knew about this!" Ted exclaimed in dismay, and at a volume that had Marshall

look worriedly at the various patrons who had turned their heads in their direction.

"I cannot believe, you knew about this!"

Marshall grimaced. "Well, no, not exactly this. If I had known you'd end up getting punched, I'd have slapped Barney silly the moment I realised he was using your name! You know that."

Ted frowned. "I do know that", he acquiesced, "but that doesn't mean I forgive you. I got a website out of it for God's sake! And for all I know", he continued angrily, "this could be the reason it never works out with any girl I meet! They could all be huddled around a computer and reading whatever it is that's written there!"

"That's a bit unlikely, don't you think?"

"A bit. Yes", Ted agreed. "In any case, it's quite enough to know that site's address. _I_ haven't taken a closer look at its content and I'm pretty sure I already know what I'd find if I did."

"Where is it? What's the address?" Marshall tried not to look too eager, but Ted glared at him all the same.

"If you don't know I'm not going to tell you", he decided. "If whatever's-her-name stays true to her word, then it won't be up much longer anyway."

Marshall hesitated. "Was it anything like what people write about Ted Mosby, the sex architect?"

"No!" Ted replied indignantly and reached for his beer. "And thank you for reminding me about that! What is it that people find so fascinating about my name? First him, now Barney!"

"Actually, I think Barney was first."

Ted started and set the beer down carefully. "Define ‚first'."

"Well, I think that business with Barney happened years ago." Marshall frowned in concentration. "I think it's been five or six years."

"Six years?", Ted repeated incredulously. "Half of what's on the internet doesn't last one year", he complained. "But of course that site has to be kept up forever!"

"Um, you could sue her", Marshall paused. "Or Barney. Even the, uh, sex architect if you wanted to."

"I couldn't do that. I'd break that poor -", Ted hesitated, "- that guy's heart if I sued him. And I'm not going to sue Barney either." He sighed and stared morosely at his beer.

"And you're not gonna tell Barney about this?"

Ted shook his head. "No. Not unless he -" He frowned. "Do you think it's a regular thing for him?"

"No", Marshall replied emphatically. "No, absolutely not. It was just that one time. Promise!"

"You promise?" Ted sounded almost amused.

"I promise I'll punch him for you if he did it more than once", Marshall assured him.

"Thanks", was Ted's answer, and though he sounded rather more sceptical than thankful, Marshall could tell he was indeed touched.

* * *

A few hours and an equal amount of pints of beer later, while Ted returned to his apartment, Marshall went home to his family. And even though he had denied that he would, the first thing Marshall did upon entering the apartment was announce: "Lily! Great news! I just saw an offer for cloth diapers and -

_- wait. No. That's not what Marshall said. It's only what he claimed later that he'd said. Just liked he claimed that after that announcement he spent three hours straight arguing about it. Of course, what he really said (because it was the thing foremost on his mind) was -_

"Lily - I'm not supposed to tell you, so you'll have to promise not to tell anyone, but - Barney's the reason Ted got punched the other day!" Marshall eyed his wife expectantly and was not disappointed to be met with a quivering lip and a heart-felt ‚Oh, no!', followed by a bemused "Wait, why? Barney wasn't even near Ted when it happened."

Marshall smiled triumphantly. "Correct. But this is about what Barney did six years ago, when he pretended to be Ted to pick up a girl."

Lily frowned. "Wait", she said, "I ... think I remember that. It was when Ted and Robin were a couple, right?"

Marshall looked disappointed. "You knew about that?"

Lily nodded. "Sure. The girl Barney picked up that night even made a website about the whole thing! - what?" She eyed Marshall questioningly.

"You knew about the website!", Marshall exclaimed in disbelief. "How could you know and not tell me?"

"Sorry! I didn't want Ted to know about it. I thought it might upset him", she added apologetically.

Marshall nodded. "Of course, yes", he agreed. But he hesitated and stole a furtive glance at the laptop lying atop the table. "But, well, you might tell me?"

Lily scowled. "No. If I do, you'll tell Ted and then he will be upset with me!"

"I won't tell him anything, I swear!"

But Lily shook her head. "You'll tell on me, I know you will."

"I will not!" Marshall indignantly. "Why do you people always act like I cannot keep a secret?"

"Because you cannot keep a secret!"

Marshall glared at her. "Well - well" He sputtered, searching vainly for words. "Well!", he said finally. "It's not like you can keep a secret."

"No, I can't!", Lily agreed readily, "and I don't pretend to. Everybody knows by now: if you tell me a secret, I will blurt it out the moment somebody else enters the room!"

A moment's silence followed as each of them contemplated what Lily had just said. "_So_", Marshall began after a second, "what was that address again?"

Lily cringed. "Please don't make me say it. I really don't want Ted to know about it!"

Marshall sighed mournfully. "All right. I guess, if it's that bad I don't even want to know."

"Oh, it's not that bad", Lily replied. "Actually, the song is quite fun. Well, except for the gibberish at the end."

"There's a song?" Marshall perked up slightly.

"Oh, yes", Lily continued obliviously, "and it sounds kinda nice, actually."

"It does?" He tried to edge closer to the computer without her noticing and did his best to keep his voice neutral. Naturally that didn't work.

"Are you trying to trick me?" Lily eyed him suspiciously.

"No!", he protested immediately, but under his wife's glare, Marshall caved immediately. "Yes. Does it work?"

"No!" But she hesitated and Marshall gave an expectant smile which in turn caused Lily to give in. "Yes." She sighed deeply. „Here." Lily leaned over to type a few letters and hit enter.

Marshall leaned forward to read and frowned. "Ted Mosby is a jerk?", he read out loud. "Really?"

Lily nodded. "Really", she confirmed. "But it really is - well, not as bas as it could be actually. I mean considering the stunts Barney has pulled over the years, that girl's song is actually - what?" She stopped, squinting at the screen. "‚Page not found'? That's impossible. I'm sure I got it right."

Marshall stared at the screen for a long moment, until he said suddenly, disappointment visible on his face: "I know what happened." He sighed discontentedly. "Ted said, the site wasn't going to be up much longer. I guess, she took it down already."

"Oh, right." For a moment Lily looked almost disappointed, but she recovered quickly enough and added brightly: "Well, guess I managed to keep that secret!"

However much he wanted not to, Marshall let it - and Lily who retreated quickly - go and instead set off to search the depths of the internet for what he was sure he was going to find somewhere its creator had never intended it to be.


End file.
